Self-esteem

What is self-esteem

The term self-esteem comes from the Latin verb aestimare, meaning to value. When someone has healthy self-esteem, they have a positive way of seeing themselves and their external environment. They can navigate through negative evaluations and can remain firm in their high value of self. Sometimes, for others, their experiences through life can be so challenging that this value is affected, and the results are that an individual will feel very bad about their self, and this can in turn lead to negative emotions and depression.

Some of the ways in which self-esteem can be affected are:

• Ways in which others speak to us and things they say about us

• External events such as losing a job, or redundancy.

• Interpersonal events such as separating from a partner or being estranged from parents

• Social factors such as damaging friendship groups or engagement in activities with others

• Social media

• The way we talk to ourselves such as “I’m not good enough”

If you are experiencing low self-esteem, counselling or psychotherapy can help you explore this.

Some ways in which you can work on improving your self-esteem

The first thing is to change your position of perception from looking externally for evidence of your value and instead, looking internally. Most of the examples above relate to the way in which we are impacted by things outside ourselves. The more this happens, the more we internalise it, and the more our brains will continue to bank it as "I’m not good enough".

Explore your own positive values of self

Look internally, and try to do some of the following. Writing them down can help, so you might want to start a journal or add to one you already have.

• Try to write down your strengths and qualities.

• Focus on things you’ve been successful in.

• Accept that you are human. Human beings are perfectly imperfect and as such we all make mistakes. Allow yourself to be human and accept when things haven’t gone well. Instead of saying to yourself “I must be”, instead say “I would prefer … but I am human and will make mistakes.”

• Try to be assertive if someone is talking to you in a negative way or being negative about you

• Talk to yourself in a positive way and if you find yourself going down the route of negative self-talk then try to stop and distract yourself from the thinking

And finally …Take good care of yourself by practicing self-care

• Get a regular bed-time routine so you get enough sleep

• Go for a walk (in nature if you can)

• Try to exercise (walking is great and again in nature if you can)

• Do something creative

• Try to spend time relaxing (this can be reading a book, listening to music or just sitting in the garden) but time where you can enjoy your moment

• Spend time socially with people that make you feel good about yourself

• Eat healthy

• Try journalling so you can write your thoughts and feelings down

If you are struggling with your self-esteem and you feel that you need help, then you may wish to explore counselling or psychotherapy.

If you are struggling and need urgent help with your mental health, please contact your GP or emergency services.